July 9, 2020

A Living Spectre lurks….

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:34 pm by Aleksan

A spectre lurks, a ghost who once was me. I never expected to live beyond fifty, and apparently there were worries that I might not get through my thirties. I still meet people who thought I had died years ago and are surprised I still haunt space- time. Indeed I am pretty surprised too when I look in the mirror and see an grizzled and wrinkled old face leering back.

But I am indeed still here, living a pretty full life due to the progress of modern medicine and welcoming great grandchildren, great nieces and a great nephew into the world.

Illness does plague me from time to time, and still plagues, and people often tell me “that the creaking gate lasts forever”. I am grateful
for my life and am by no means an old man yet.

My future, and all our futures lie in the lap of the Gods. Sometimes, in dark moments, I feel I have been round too many times, and would welcome some respite. Lockdown for me has been a respite of sorts, and given me an excuse to be that recluse that forms part of my identity.

With all its sadness, fears and pain, life is for living in the moment – the only place to live anyway. It is good to feel part of a pattern of ancestors, family and loving friends, and to be a small part of Mysterious Nature – even If I sometimes feel that I am already a member of the Ancestral Community that look on from inside the Forest shadows.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: